It is Thursday night. I haven't worked since Monday night, and I am now just returning to the "human" feeling again. (damn the nightshift!!)
Today has been wonderful! I started out at the winter sidewalk sale where I indulged myself in a new pair of Dansko's that have sparkley bits in them... And I indulged myself in my addiction for Smartwool Socks... I also got new crosstrainers & shoes for work (cannot WAIT to pitch the ridiculous sketchers shape-ups that have very little base-support...)
Then I slept. I must have needed the sleep, so I will not be annoyed about that.
It has taken me since Monday to feel like I want any social interaction OUTSIDE of my house...
I went out for coffee, and had fun random conversations. A woman who I have never met, overheard me talking about my Smartwool sock addiction, and she then told me about a little yarn shop about an hour away that will spin the yarn of your choosing while you go to one of the little coffee shops in the area. I will have to check this place out! What an indulgence!!! :) The same woman came very close to me then, and looked into my eyes, and asked me if I have ever read "The Artist's Way" - the same book that Len gave me to work on my morning pages & such. I have let my morning pages fall by the wayside in the past year or two, much due to the situational depression I have faced- and the inner turmoils & emotional/situational fallout that had been built up in 2009. It's been a rough few years for me. But the fact that she made such a connection & seemed to truly peer into my soul, and was SO earnest about me getting "The Artst's Way" back out- has inspired me to once again reach into the recesses of my mind & poke around a bit for what had become shattered and/or tattered dreams.
Dance is part of life to me. I love Garnett's classes, and feel like I have been able to find myself again. Little by little I am shedding the insecurities that have plagued me since childhood. I feel like my soul is nourished in these dance classes, and I am FOREVER grateful to her- she is my hero! I love her dearly! <3 It was nice to chat with her after class as well. More picking up some pieces of the dreams I had started to forget about... I am hopeful, and I know my dreams can become reality with some hard work & confidence & the moxie that I KNOW runs through my veins! ;)
My dance classes are about 2 city blocks away from where I live, so I use the walk as part of my warm-up/cool-down to & from class.... After class was over, I took my time walking home- enjoying the lovely snow that looked like glittered whitefluff falling from the sky onto the ground. The streetlights illuminated the snowflakes & made everything look magical & sparkly!!
In a state of twirling & happiness, I made pasta primavera (vegan- using tofurky for the meat/protein in the sauce). Of course, I made WAY too much for just me- even if I am cooking a batch to last me for working through the whole weekend. As I twirled around, chopping up the veg & making the marinara, I recalled the events of this day with a smile on my face! I imagined I was making all of this food to share with the people I miss most. (haha- throw a babushka on my head & call me Bubbie- I like to feed people...) I imagined playing hostess to all my wonderful friends that have enriched my life throughout my 30+ years, and even though it is 11pm at night (was 9-10pm at the time of twirling in the kitchen), I am having a delightful dinnerparty with the people I hold near & dear to my heart. Distance might separate us, but know that I love you all, and you are with me in my heart always!!! <3
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